She’s just not that into you: Picking up her signs

Face it man, you’re in the Friend Zone. To make matters worse, you were never a closer to begin with. You thought you’d be in the door once you recited a couple Drake lyrics after she told you that was her favorite rapper. Stop trying so hard. You’re missing allllll the signs she’s throwing at you. You probably think it’s a coincidence every time you leave her you turn on “Hotline Bling” and get to second guessing yourself? Nah, it’s not.

Netflix & Chill

You couldn’t wait to get that 1-on-1 time so you could watch Making a Murderer. It’s her favorite series, she can’t stop talking about it. You’ve read every review on the world wide web so you can answer any question she has about the show. Amazing. You got in so deep trying to fake it with her and what she likes that you messed around and fell into the deep end of the friend zone. It’s too late. You’re drowning. While you’re sitting there on the couch plotting to make a move, she’s texting someone on commercials who not only has never seen the show, but doesn’t even have Netflix.

What you should be doing is breaking her habits. She’s telling you about that show not because she wants you to watch it. She’s telling you about the show because she’s bored out of her mind and wants to be entertained. Instead of bucking the Netflix trend and getting her out of the house to show her what an actual good time is you’ve now committed to her routine. You didn’t even offer to bring/cook food to switch it up. Jesus, man. Having a routine leads to complacency. Complacency leads to being boring. You know what single people hate? Good guess, boring.

If you want it to go somewhere you’re going to have to use your brain and think outside the box. You haven’t been out your comfort zone all your life. Guess what other zone you haven’t been out of?

Hamburger Helper

This one hurts. You got her number in class, a bar, or wherever it may be and a couple weeks later things have taken a drastic turn. We’re at the point where the only time she hits you up first is for “favors” like she needs a ride somewhere, she needs you to help her study, or if you can run an errand for her because she’s busy. When you guys go out now you’re the “default boyfriend.” That doesn’t mean you could hit on her, it’s just so nobody else can.

How did we get here?

Well, just because she let you buy her a drink didn’t mean she was interested in you. It meant she wanted a free drink. Weird, I know. Sure, it was more than one drink, and you small talked and might have even walked her out of the bar. You went home and bragged about nothing and she forgot you existed until you sent four texts in a row until she answered.

You’re saved in her phone now as “Hamburger Helper” because she knows you’ll do anything for her. You could’ve said no to her once and none of this would be a problem. All you needed to do was be patient, do something to draw her in. I don’t know maybe not text her 12 hours after you met. Now you’re in the zone where there’s no getting out of. You’re the “big bro” that she can go to for things. Good work.

“Aww thanks”

You’ve complimented everything about her, from her earrings, to her shoes, and you even noticed she got a haircut.  All she ever hit you back with was “aww thanks.” If you get hit with the “aww thanks” it means she’s telling you to politely return to the friend zone that you’re currently trying to escape.

If a girl is interested she’ll respond with something like “don’t make me blush” or give you a compliment back or spin what you said into a conversation. Any three word response is no bueno. If she’s short with you, she’s not for you. Pick up these signs, bros. This ties into everything, though. If you ask what she’s watching and she just replies with the show and doesn’t reply with anything else, she’s probably not interested homes. If you’re always buying the drinks/foods and she never reaches out to do something. She’s probably not interested. If your text convos read like novels on one side and “lol” on the other it’s time to accept the fact that this isn’t going anywhere. Pick up these signs, bros.